Thursday, September 29, 2011

why am I crying when I should be celebrating?

Crying... is it a stress relief? You've put in your time, suffered the harsh side effects, hoping they will fade away and eventually you can get back to normal. Or, is it the fear returning that although you're done with this part of the battle, you really don't know the outcome. Did you win? You don't know if you've beaten the enemy or he's just hiding and biding his time before showing up again.... months or years down the road. The worry is still there.
It feels like a recuperation is in order... a restful trip, a time away to rebuild my body and soul. Give me strength emotionally and physically, make me happy and whole. 
I pray this for all my comrades fighting cancer, for all the people I met at radiation, and for all the friends I know that are battling a lingering disease.  Find your strength. Find the little things that bring you joy. It's okay to cry... it releases yourself to be able to rebuild.

8 comments:

  1. Short and sweet and true to point! It's always nice to give yourself permission to cry. I did that today, in fact. ;-)

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  2. My mother is currently battling lung cancer. Thank you for your post, giving ourselves permission to cry is not always easy....

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  3. Crying is cleansing for the soul, so go for it. You deserve all the best of everything & I pray that little demon is gone for good this time. Godspeed my friend...

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  4. It is definitely ok to cry. Hopefully they are happy tears that radiation is done and now you can rest up and recuperate. Praying you are done, done, done with all of this!! xoxoox

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  5. Amen. SO glad that radiation is over for you. And it just takes something out of you that takes a while to heal. You will find ways to celebrate!

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  6. So glad you have finished the battle again. I pray the results are good!

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  7. So glad you are finished. And the tears are God's way of washing away all those things that caused them :-). Fresh start, friend! XOXO

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  8. Yes, crying does relieve a lot of the stress build-up. You've been through so much and deserve to let go.
    I understand the fear, but we both know that the best thing to do is to focus on the present. Just look at those sweet grandchildren! What a blessing they are.
    I wish you continued healing from this recent battle and the hope that "it" is just a thing of the past now and forever.
    Peace.
    Go and buy yourself a HUGE bouquet of sunflowers!
    xo

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