looking back to a year ago...

I was curious about my blog posts from last year at this time. I wanted to see what I was up to then since I've been so bad about keeping up with blogging lately. Here's my November 30th post "My Christmas wish". My wish is the same for this year... "to be cancer free and healthy". I've been sick with a sore throat, head cold and cough for the past week so I am really looking forward to feeling healthy and good again! My last few illnesses have hit me hard. I feel like I have no immune system to fight even a common cold. And, I'm still fighting that same cancer. On Wednesday I go to the Thoracic Surgeon, Thursday the Radiologist and Friday the Oncologist to discuss my latest treatment options since finding out about 3 new lung nodules and growing lymph nodes. All too similar to the past two Christmas seasons, my holiday preparations are overshadowed by my health. My year has been overshadowed by my health.
But starting today I'm pulling out the decorations and getting started on this holiday! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Inner Artwork

This is my Oncologist's interpretation of my recent CT Scan. Unfortunately it's not good news, not at all what I wanted to see. My most recent surgery was back in June, they removed the tumor from my abdomen and radiated that area for 6 weeks, that area is clean. Nothing going on, Hooray! Worth the recovery and side effects for this good news. 
My chest and lungs are very busy though. The two larger criss-crossed circles measuring 2+ cm are lymph nodes. Increased in size from 3 months ago, probably because they are fighting off the disease that has decided to reside in my lungs. I have 3 nodules, measuring from 2mm to 11mm. With all this activity, comes a decision of what to do this time? I've had VATS twice, a year apart,  to get out 1 nodule at a time. I'm not opposed to VATS again, if.... my surgeon thinks he can get all this out and clean me up. My Oncologist is thinking chemo. I'm not opposed to that either, I just want to make sure we use the most efficient drug. The problem with fighting Sarcoma is the chemo's have not been that well researched. Some chemo's they know do not work, so why bother? Others work for other "similar" cancers so maybe it could work for Sarcoma. Then there are clinical trials going on with drugs that are hopeful to work. 
This is another time in my treatment of confusion... making me feel unstable and vulnerable. My Oncologist is talking to all my other Docs to get there opinions. I would like to see my Thoracic Surgeon this week to see what he can do. 


A third holiday season coming upon us, or I should say "my third" worrying about cancer and lung nodules. Kinda takes the spirit out of it all a bit.